Old School ESPN

I just caught last night's replay of ESPN Sportscenter. This week is Sportscenter Old School and they've brought back former anchors to host the shows. Last night was anchored by "Dan the Man" Patrick and "Craiggers" Kilborn, two of my all-time faves (Keith Olbermann and Kenny Mayne would make that list as well). It was "the feel good edition".

Craig lead off the show wanting to deliver the scores without catchphrases saying, "Nobody gets hurt, no catchphrases, just give me the score." This straight man act only lasted a few minutes before Dan kidded him for finally resorting to his old self-centered, self-serving catchphrase ways; but not before Craig remarked in jest while reporting on dry baseball boxscores with this off-the-cuff comment, "Always important to know the inning." It was classic old school Kilborn.

Here were some of his more memorable throw-away lines:
• "Boy meets ball. Boy loses ball. Fan gets ball." (Homerun—used twice during show.)
• "Glove exciting and supple leather." (Diving catch.)
• "It's OK to be ahead to set the table." (Swinging ahead of the pitch and making a hit the opposite direction.)
• "Bloop me." (Shallow outfield hit.)
• "Forget snap, crackle: that's a pop." (Homerun.)
• "You can check out, but you can never leave." (A line from the Eagles' Hotel California.)

Dan had his own fair share of one-liners. Here's a couple:
• "Bless you." (Said just as Craig mentioned soccer star Marcos Cafu's name.)
• "...(that's) the five-hole. He throws between his legs to get the out." (Strange-looking play at first.)

One of the funniest moments of the show came in the second half when Craig interrupted a baseball highlight to ask, "I haven't been here... I haven't followed the game in eight years: is everybody on steroids now?" That got Dan to crack up and reply, "That's up for interpretation." The cutting up continued as Kilborn got a big laugh from Patrick with the remark, "I like your voice."

Later Dan turned the tables on Craig and used a gimmick from The Late Late Show to ask five questions of the former Sportscenter host, and it was discovered that Dan was never fond of Craigger's catchphrase "Crackatoa", although he did like "Jumanji". The top ten plays of the day ended with an old hockey clip titled Radi-what-ovic picked especially for Kilborn by the producers to poke fun at his trouble with pronouncing weird-sounding names from the game of sticks and ice.

All in all it was a fun trip down memory lane. I even saw one of my favorite Sportscenter commercials aired during the broadcast, the one about the child prodigy anchor coming out early. (If that link doesn't work, catch the video on the This is Sportscenter archives webpage. It's on the right side second from the top.) For more nostaglia, commercials, and catchphrases visit The Sportscenter Altar. It's the site that scratches the itch of anyone yearning for old school ESPN Sportscenter.

Long live the catchphrases.